I find it hard to dislike this song. Unfortunately, I find it impossible to like it either. It’s the musical equivalent of beige… like watching paint dry, but without the suspense. The whole thing sounds like it was sponsored by boredom.
It’s as if someone asked AI to write a song inspired by the words vanilla, mediocre and pedestrian, and then told it not to get carried away. By the time the second verse begins, even she’s counting the seconds until the whole thing is over.
By the end, it genuinely sounds like she’s lost the will to live - and frankly, so have I. There’s no attempt to muster up a big ending, so it fades with a whimper. The only thing relevant about this is the title. Just go. Please. Go.
Verdict: 1/10 - Toilet break territory. Unlikely to make it through the semi final.
In a year with a multitude of pounding beats, this might not be the most cutting edge, but it is certainly one of the more committed attempts at organised noise.
The song features at least 216 la’s by my count, and it won’t come close to that many in terms of points. But there’s something endearingly unhinged about a track that casually shoehorns in what I can only identify as a lonely Georgian goatherd throat-yodelling across the plains for his lost flock. The lyrics implore “Don’t think!” and “Don’t ask why!” and honestly, if you stick to that sage advice, you’ll have a perfectly enjoyable three minutes in the company of Bzikebi.
Verdict: 5/10 - All good fun, with a decent chance of getting through the semi final.
I’m in two minds about this one. On the one hand, it’s catchy enough turbo dance pop, reminiscent of 2015’s Rim Tim Tagi Dim, and I feel a deep, spiritual solidarity when Simón snaps “this meeting could have been an email” — a sentiment that deserves its own national holiday. We’ve all been there, clutching a cold conference‑room coffee and questioning our life choices.
On the other hand, about halfway through, I remember that it feels like a relentless assault on the eardrums by a nail gun, and thank you, this dish was lovely, but I really can’t finish the whole plate: the chef has been very generous with the seasoning marked “industrial percussion”.
Verdict: 5/10 - Half likeable, could get through to the final with a little help from a good performance and a diaspora televote.
